The Crystal Maze Board Game

Start The Fans

Those of us old enough, will remember the camp craziness that was The Crystal Maze. Hosted by the weirdly wonderful Richard O’Brien (Of The Rocky Horror Picture Show fame) and then Ed Tudor-Pole (of Tenpole Tudor fame), this game show put teams of people through an eclectic mix of challenges. Originally aired on Channel 4 from 1990 to 1995, it had some of the highest viewing figures for the channel. It spawned games, magazines and even live experiences where you and your family could go and grab yourself an allusive crystal of your own. That was all before it returned in 2017 and once again ignited the nation’s love for the format.

The nostalgia hit I get whenever I even hear the iconic theme music is palpable. Teams, each in their own coloured jumpsuits would travel around a series of different zones all with their own aesthetic style. There were Industrial (later changed to the Ocean), Aztec, Futuristic and Medievil zones. Each created an exciting world within the maze and each offering a unique mix of games. Within each zone you could chose to do either a mental, mystery, skill based or physical room, in which one of the team would go while the others watched on from nearby. If you completed the task in the allocated time you received a titular crystal. However if you didn’t get out in time you would be locked in. The only way to join the team again was to spend one of your hard earned crystals.

Then there was the dome! Everyone remembers the iconic crystal shaped dome in which the winning team would frantically try and grab gold tokens as industrial fans blew from underneath their feet. Everyone wanted a go! Grab a certain amount of gold and win prizes. But any silver tokens collected would be deducted off the final score. Exhilarating! Well with the 2017 revival came The Crystal Maze: The Board Game. But does the inevitable tabletop version get close to grabbing the excitement of the real thing?

I’m Coming Out

As soon as you lift the lid you will see puzzles filling every corner of the box and a big central board to represent the maze itself. On the board are placed four cards in each zone, each a room with a puzzle. The game is played in teams. Teams can be any size from one to four but whatever the player count, there will be at least one Maze Master. If there are an odd number of players then someone needs to grab their harmonica and take on the role throughout. Otherwise one person from each team will need to take on the character and oversee their opponents’ turns. The Maze Master’s job is the most difficult one.

In the box comes a booklet with instructions and solutions for every game available. It is the Master’s responsibility to set up each game, explain the rules and oversee the timer (altering for younger players). I can imagine the more you play this game the easier it will become. But certainly on the first few plays, there is a lot to juggle. It can also slow down the game as you read through the page of instructions before explaining what it is the player needs to do. Ideally try and have an odd number of players. There is something much more immersive about a consistent voice overseeing the whole thing. It also means they are much more likely to be objective in their judging.

The games themselves are mixed. Some are better than others. From putting coloured building blocks into specific shapes, through to tile laying puzzles. There is a fun energy of cheering each other on and offering advice while one teammate frantically moves pieces around the table trying to make sense of a cryptic clue. The best way to do this is to send the rest of the team into the doorway so they can’t see properly. This captures that manic energy of the TV show and demands a lot more communication from the person actually doing the task.

However there is a strange mix of difficulty, with some tasks being very difficult and some incredibly easy. A good Maze Master makes or breaks this game. Being able to offer clues of their own or make distracting remarks whilst also keeping an eye on the timer makes the game a lot more fun.

Despite all of this, playing the Master is the dullest part of the game. You want to be able to get involved in the puzzles. This is where the biggest problem is. During the game you will see every puzzle in the game and whether you do it or not, you will get to see the solution. It makes the game a ‘one and done’. I can’t see the fun of playing a second time with the same people so be aware of that going in.

There is a free app that adds music and timers to the mix. The problem is that there is no underscore when the timer is on and so we found ourselves singing the theme music to add more fun and tension to the countdown. The app is a bit of a wasted opportunity. It feels like building in a pre-recorded Maze Master could have allowed the game to be a lot more immersive. Even just simple videos for each puzzle telling you how to set up and and how to play would have created a much smoother experience.

The Dome

After playing a series of puzzles in each zone, each team will have, hopefully, earned a number of crystals. The team can decide to lock in one of the opposing team members once per game. The tension of whether to spend a crystal to get another set of hands for the Dome or save the crystal to add to your time leads to great team discussions. Sadly there is no giant inflatable dome to play in, but the tabletop equivalent feels chaotically fun.

The board is covered with small cards. On the backs of the cards is either gold or silver. But here is where it differs a little. Each member of the team is given a stick with a hand at the end. You might recognise this from the revival where host Richard Ayoade wielded one as he led contestants around the maze. On each hand is a small plunger. As the timer begins, players need to slap these hands onto the board in order to stick a card. They then must remove that card and place it in a shared play area. You can either spend time checking what colour they are, returning any silver, or just speedily get as many as possible saved and play the odds. This kinetic madness really gets more exciting than it sounds. The more players in the ‘dome’ the crazier it becomes. OK, so it’s not industrial fans and hundreds of pieces of foil, but there is something really exciting about counting up the gold tokens at the end and the sense of exhausted relief if you hit your goal.

What Does Mumsie Think?

The Crystal Maze: The Board Game is a mixed bag. It’s not difficult enough to target the original fans of the show or interesting enough to intrigue children who have no connection with it. The Maze Master role is often quite dull and can slow down the playing time too much but the puzzles themselves are fun if playing with a young crowd. Although mostly not that difficult, they can be really challenging to complete in the time limit. I must mention, however, that there is one puzzle where the solution is wrong and so it was incredibly frustrating trying to figure out how to put it back into its box.

There are better games out there and certainly more replayable ones but if you want to make an evening of it and dress up teams in matching colours and download the soundtrack on YouTube you can certainly make a night out of it. Just don’t expect to be able to do it again.