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What games work well for children/teens with autism?
Here’s a complicated topic that can be made incredibly simple:
Ready?
Whatever game they enjoy.
But You Want More Detail, Right?
There are lots of articles out there on this topic, and a few games come up time and time again in terms of “what you should buy for your child with autism”. In my experience, A) these haven’t always worked and B) they’re often aimed at young children rather than older kids or teenagers. Which prompted me to wonder: how do we usually choose games, and is it really that different for children with autism? Turns out: yes and no. Here are some reflections and then a list of recommendations.
Let’s Begin
First of all, my own children do not (as far as I know) have autism. But I do have several friends whose families have children with autism, and I work with a number of children/teenagers who do. And just in case you don’t, here’s what you should know about anyone with autism: they’re unique, incredible, challenging, and intelligent. Just like every human being. If you’re the parent or friend of someone with autism then you already know this, and you might also know that some of them love board games and some don’t.
Any child, adult, or teenager has particular interests and certain games are going to suit their preferences on any given day. And, let’s face it, some days are different to others. One day I’ll be itching to play Settlers of Catan, another I want Blood Rage, another you can sign me up for 221B Baker Street...
One trait that you probably can generalise to children with autism, however, is that they have some incredibly specific interests and hobbies – and they are likely to enjoy those over and over. This means that once you find a game that works, you can probably generalise from there. I’ve certainly come across a number of autistic children who love trains (and secretly who doesn’t) which might be why you find Ticket To Ride on so many recommended games lists. Which makes sense: it’s a game that blends strategy without direct conflict, and a theme that speaks to a highly specialised interest.
Rule Number 1
Here’s rule number one, the most important rule. Just spend time getting to know anyone who might call themselves autistic. Find out what they like and be prepared to play a game to see if they enjoy it. Be a kind, decent human being. But also be prepared for them to hate a game you like. Children with autism, perhaps more so than adults, can have a very low tolerance for things that they dislike. Forcing them to play a game is going to end in disaster.
Rule Numbers 2 And Beyond…
Beyond that simple fact, here are a couple of things I’ve learned that might help you to succeed. The second rule: pick something that matches their interests. Trains? Ticket To Ride. Horror? Betrayal at House on the Hill. Pandas? Takenoko.
Next, direct conflict isn't ideal when it comes to games for children with autism. Ameritrash games are fantastic and might work well with certain autistic children – particularly if they match their interests, but direct conflict is tricky to handle for any of us (especially when we lose). You probably want to avoid any Monopoly-style table flipping. Children with autism can find it difficult to process conflict or losing, so avoid that as much as possible. Of course, if you’ve followed rule number 1 then you’re more likely to have enough credit in your relationship bank to be able to test this one out. In short though: Euro-style games are more likely to be a win.
The fourth rule: cooperative games can be fantastic. Quite a number of children and teenagers I know say that they enjoy the cooperative aspect of board games. They avoid player-to-player conflict and losing together doesn’t seem so bad. For children with autism, processing that concept seems somehow to be easier.
Fifth, read the room. Perhaps this can’t be stressed enough. Children with autism can have a hard time processing and relaxing so knowing how they are on any given day, responding to how their emotions might change even mid-game, and allowing them control over their choices is important.
Lastly, building games (particularly where players are left to sort out their own empires without someone interfering) can be a great place to start. The concept of building something, in line with the rules, and managing some complex strategy can really resonate with children and teenagers alike. Just try to avoid games where you might directly sabotage someone else…
Some Recommendations
Before those, let’s also mention a few that might not work. Labyrinth is often found on “great games for children” lists but friends tell me that this really didn’t work for them at all. Ticket To Ride has had mixed responses so far as I can tell, even though it’s often on lists of games for children with autism. Settlers of Catan has not interested some of my friends’ children but others seem to relish it.
Here’s What Seems To Come Up Time And Again:
Settlers of Catan Junior. Despite Catan not always working for autistic children, this one had more votes for a positive gaming experience and is great for younger players.
Andor: Family Fantasy. A co-op game that’s for slightly younger players and allows you to work as a team. Classic elements of D&D style RPGs where you must rescue wolf cubs before a dragon destroys your castle.
Pandemic. It’s beloved for good reason. The mechanics are great, there are expansions, it’s cooperative, you save the world… and if you need to let someone be the mastermind then you can always swallow your pride and do that. It’s also a great teaching point for negotiating and listening when people have conflicting views.
Castle Panic. Another cooperative game that has been recommended to me by a teenager even though he’s never managed to ‘win it.' Tower defence and monsters in a board game? Sounds like a blast.
Carcassonne. Some friends have told me that this works best when you slightly modify the rules to avoid some of the conflict elements, (so you don’t steal someone’s castle points for example) but the building element is fantastic. Coincidentally, this is how I got my very young children into Uno (ie we left out the ‘mean’ cards to begin with).
Ticket to Ride. This comes up on so many lists that we should really include it. There’s also a version for younger players (Ticket to Ride: First journey) that might be a good way into board games.
Of course, if none of this resonates with your experience as a parent/friend then feel free to disagree or try something else. Use your own unique experiences to help guide your choices.
TLDR – Principles Recap
1: Get to know the person you want to play with.
2: Find something that matches their interests. They’re often highly specific so show that you value them.
3: It’s usually best to avoid direct conflict.
4: Co-op games can be a real win.
5: Be sensitive and responsive – even midgame or mid-turn.
6: Try games where you have to build something.
One Final Thought
Board games are great. They can be incredible bonding times. And there is some evidence out there that they can help to develop certain coordination, thinking and interaction/emotional processing skills. This may be true, but those advantages are almost certainly going to be dependent on how well you use them. My final recommendation is: use them well. And enjoy them.